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NashPing
27 August 2009 @ 06:06 pm
everyone here is so pretty. genuinely. its so sad we all hate ourselves so bad. it makes no sense. i wish we could all could catch even a glimpse of what we really look like to the world.

all the pretty fotos have made my day.


xxx
 
 
NashPing
06 March 2009 @ 12:07 am
hello! :)

anyone have any problems with pro plus caffeine pills or with neurogenex?

hee hee.
 
 
NashPing
04 March 2009 @ 09:25 pm
does anyone out there have parents who make them them feel fat even though u know ur not, even though they know u have an ED and who act like it just goes away wen u lie and say ur fine???

anyone get this from ppl who should at least try to understand?

My dad made me feel so bad today...
 
 
NashPing
04 March 2009 @ 07:11 pm
oh my god. he makes me so angry. why the hell did he do that? eating my dinner there and he says "wow! that's a lot of butter". i mean now im crying. he said sorry but i mean...what the hell? he knows i have issues about weight and food, why the hell does he still make comments like that. i mean, GOD. im so upset. makes me just wana die, i wish i was thin, i wish he didnt treat me as if im a fat cow. ive always been a healthy weight, and ive eaten healthly (in front of him).


ok ive calmed down a bit now.

god he doesnt understand at all.
 
 
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: none
 
 
NashPing
05 May 2008 @ 10:02 am

had to make a new plan

21st of May
50kgs

i can loose 5kgs in about a week
but i it never keep it off for long
so...

i just have to be stern with myself
this week
time is running out

I have 8 kgs to loose to be 49kgs.
if i loose 4 kgs a week i can still do it
and meet my goal.
i think ill loose faster than that,
but as long as i dont gain any days
i won't worry too much.

This is wat ive been like

Mon 28th - 57kg
Tues 29th - 57kg (ok)
 Wed 30th - 56kg (good)
Thurs 1st - 57kg (wat the buck?? <500cals)
Fri 2nd - 56kg (better)
Sat 3rd - 55kg (savage)
Sun 4th - 57kg (major binge and purge, so sad)


Today
Mon 5th - 57kg
BMI 22.2
(not sure, scales is being weird...moving from 55 to 57kgs???)
but the point is i just went up and down the whole week

so not impressed

ive got just over two weeks
thats good

so
Mon 12th - 53kgs
Mon 19th - 49kgs

I CAN DO IT
I HAVE TO

49kgs / 108lbs
5'3"
BMI 19.13
BY THE TIME IM LEAVING CRUMMY IRELAND FOR A WHOLE SUMMER IN CALIFORNIA

MOTIVATION

62 kgs = 136.7 lbs  - Mon 21st Apr
BMI 24.2


104lbs will be my next goal from there.
 
 
 
NashPing
29 April 2008 @ 01:56 pm
50 kgs = 110.2 lbs

 51 kgs = 112.4 lbs
 
52 kgs = 114.6 lbs - Mon 4th May GOAL 2
 
53 kgs = 116.8 lbs
 
54 kgs = 119.0 lbs
 
55 kgs = 121.3 lbs
56 kgs = 123.5 lbs
 
57 kgs = 125.7 lbs - Mon 28th Apr 
 
58 kgs = 127.9 lbs
 
59 kgs = 130.1 lbs
 
60 kgs = 132.3 lbs
 
61 kgs = 134.5  lbs
 
62 kgs = 136.7 lbs  - Mon 21st Apr

 
 
 
Current Location: college
Current Music: the perfect circle - outsider
 
 
NashPing
17 January 2008 @ 10:31 am
 
Queen and I by Gym Class Heroes
I love that how she breathes booze in the mornin'
Man, it's so sexy how she can't remember last night
I made a fatal mistake letting her drink again
Well who the hell am I to tell her how to live her life?

And if you could put dumb in a shotglass
I'm just another lush who's had one too many in me
And we please don't have enough
I see you stand there, settle for anything, anything's better than lettin' her,
'Cause she could do better than me
She'll come around eventually

'Cause baby girl's a queen
And a queen is just a pawn with a bunch of fancy moves
And she's made me a fiend
I won't be withdrawed 'cause I got nothing to lose

Oh no,
She's at the bottom of that bottle
She's only one more swallow
From being, you know, so hollow
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Bravo, she's at the bottom of that bottle
She's only one more swallow
From being, you know, so hollow

I find it funny she can never find her car keys
Immediately after telling me she can't take it
She makes the cutest faces when she screams obscenities
And slurs her words because she's never not inebrieated
And the front page that I'd read
Let the girl go, you know you can do better
It's bad, when the fact that you can't have her
Is the reason you sweat her,
Don't let her take advantage of you
Like the other girls let her
You better cut your losses now buddy.

'Cause baby girl's a queen
And a queen's a pawn with a bunch of fancy moves
And she's made me a fiend
I won't be withdrawed 'cause I got nothing to lose

Oh no,
She's at the bottom of that bottle
She's only one more swallow
From being, you know, so hollow
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Bravo, she's at the bottom of that bottle
She's only one more swallow
From being, you know, so hollow

Drown yourself,
It's not worth keeping me
Just put it down right now,
When bow out gracefully
('Cause baby girl's a queen
The queen's the part with a bunch of fancy moves
And she's made me a fiend
I won't be withdrawed 'cause I got nothing to lose)

Oh no,
She's at the bottom of that bottle
She's only one more swallow
From being, you know, so hollow
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Bravo, she's at the bottom of that bottle
She's only one more swallow
From being, you know, so hollow
(Hey! Hey! Hey!...)
 

                                                                           
                              Gym Class Heroes




im loving that song at the mo.


anyhow, i got a franectomy yesterday so i could barely eat so thats all good.
today, im all druged up so i dont feel any pain or discomfort but i still dont feel like eating.
which is good too, huh?
yes i concur.

college is stressing me out, that and my lack of thesis.
yikes, and now im missing the rest of the week bcause of the lip thing.
ouch!

anyhow, on monday i was 59
tues i was 58
wed i was 57

and today...
well its 10.40am
ill try eat a yoghurt
before then i wana weigh myself.
but im nervous, ill be a little bummed if im still 57 or more.

im gona go now ad check...
ok so, not good.
58

 
 
NashPing
01 January 2008 @ 02:13 pm
1. LOOSE WEIGHT, 10KGS = SKINNY = LOOK GOOD = FEEL GREAT = HAPPY

2. BE HAPPY, THINK POSITIVE

3. DO WELL IN COLLEGE, NO FALLING BEHIND ON WORK LOAD.

4. QUIT SMOKING

5. REDUCE ALCOHOL INTAKE

6. EAT HEALTHY
 
 
NashPing
01 January 2008 @ 01:47 pm
i dont even wana weigh myself...eeks. i feel so huge...i wanted to go out for a power walk but the weather looks sik and i dont wana get wet. eeks...so here i am...sittin in my trackies STILL BEING FAT...ok well i got till sunday and its tues now to loose weight before Ed comes back from skiing in italy...man alive...im a nervous wreck...cause wen he gets back wer going to the country and staying in a nice hotel for 3nites...which involves a lot of meals....TOGETHER!!!...im gona die...and all the dinners!!!!....and basically if im not at least 52kgs by then ill feel so fat...i wont be able to enjoy myself...if im 52kgs or under ill be able to eat without feeling guilty...yup...eeks...rite now i feel like im 60kgs...honestly...i drank and ate so much last nite...i should be dead already from it all....but realistically i guess i put on like a pound or two so that 57!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fooks sake...i feel like a fucking yo yo...up and down up and down!!!! like sorry.... I FEEL SO FULL!!! i purged wat i thought was sufficient last nite but i mean...it must then be the drink....i didnt puge that...fook...it was wine...i feel grosse...im scared to weigh myself...but i really want to know...you know??...ok...gimme a sec...ill go over now...be back in a sec...yeh so im 56.5kgs...i expected something like that neway...man im ok...i was dreading something like 57 or 57.5kgs...putting my socks back on now...its cold...my beer belly will keep me warm...mayb in hungover...i dont usually drink so much..or at all....eeks...

ok...basically..i want to get this year right...ive wasted so much time being depressed and letting my life go by...not nemore...gona be dedicated to this weight loss thing...only then wen im 49kgs...will i be truely happy.

ok...toodles.

nashping
 
 
Current Music: chillies
 
 
NashPing
quick post cause i got work to go to :(

nehow

this morning im
56kgs!!!

im pretty chuffed to be honest

my dad noticed.

that's 4kgs since mon

once i get to 55 it will get
much harder
i know that

at least for me,
i can loose 5kgs in a week
and thats not the problem
the problem is
i aim too high then
and think im superwoman
then i crash
then i binge
then in no time at all im 60kgs again.

not this time though
im so ready

muah

so work now,
ive had a bit o orange juice
and herbal tea
for breakfast
i plan on eating some sweetcorn before i go
and thats it
thats the plan.
no wait
ill treat myself to a fatti-chino
after work
yay

i love coffee

much love to all

TTSS